Optimal Response to Stress and Anxiety The first step to managing stress is getting to know yourself. Start the process by reflecting on what your values are and how they tie into your life. - Litevi Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform ! I like to think of myself as your stress well curator. I look for helpful stress management tips and tools to add to your toolkit so you don’t have to. However, it never fails that when I search for stress-related articles, gloom and doom always pop up. To get the helpful information, I first have to sift through all the results that tell us how awful stress is and that it will kill you. Sheesh! We get it. Stress, left unchecked, can cause problems, but if you learn how to manage the inevitable stress that will occur in life, you can thrive.  One way to improve your stress response is to focus on your values. Alice Boyes, Ph. D. contributed a great article to Psychology Today that highlights how your values can help you handle...

Sinners: The One Thing That Stopped Me from Giving It a Perfect 10 Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform ! Stress Management Tip inspired by Sammie: Follow your heart You must become unshakable in the belief that you are worthy of a big life –Kristin Lohr Sinners, directed by Ryan Coogler, was released on April 18, 2025, to high critical praise and a strong box office showing for an R-rated horror movie. It is poised to become a classic.  Although I wanted to see it the weekend it came out because … well, Ryan Coogler, I did not have the opportunity, and all the social media comments were giving me FOMO. I was finally able to take myself on a movie date and went to see it on a quiet Thursday night. Interestingly, more people were in the theater than I had anticipated, which was a nice surprise.  Again, all I knew about Sinners was that it had vampires in it, and Ryan Coogler directed it. Honestly, that was enough for me. Sinners is set during the 1932 Jim Cro...

When Trying to Do It All Goes All Wrong Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform ! I have often wondered if there was such a thing as feeling too good and I may have found the answer recently. February was a good month. I was on a roll. I was coming off a tough time and started feeling like I was getting my groove back. Things were beginning to fall back in place and feel manageable again. So I decided to refocus on my health because I had slacked off a bit. In comes this 14-day health challenge that I felt good about. It seemed that I should be able to participate in it fairly easily. I think my feeling good about everything else fooled me into thinking I could handle this 14-day health challenge along with everything else. I really thought I could do it all with no regard to how I was going to balance it all. As I got to the second day of the challenge, I realized that I took for granted the time it would take to devote to doing it.  The challenge required that I c...

  Follow the Sunshine Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow them. - Louisa May Alcott I have just unlocked a new stress management hack- place your aspirations in the sunshine. There are days when I just do not know what I am doing. There are days when I feel overwhelmed, underwhelmed, and everything in between. On those days, anxiety may start to creep in to take advantage of my down moments. Then sneaky stress will try to steal some of my energy as well. On some days they are successful and I end up walking around in a cloud for a few days to weeks until I realize and reset.  What better way to do that than to look up into the sun and meditate on your aspirations and how to get there. Connecting with nature is a great way to be in the moment and help with relieving stress symptoms. Engage in an exercise in which you have connected one to two life aspirations with su...

Do something different. Shake your life up a bit. Our brains are funny little 3 pound masses that can take us for a loop and we are still learning so much about it. As much as I enjoy having a routine in my life because it gives me the illusion of having control, variety is also key for cognitive health. Soomi Lee, PhD, assistant professor in the USF College of Behavior and Community Sciences reports "findings suggest that active and engaged lifestyles with diverse and regular activities are essential for our cognitive health." I am not a regular baker but I wanted to do something different. I have not baked in quite some time and I probably won't even eat all the cake but it was a fun and different activity to do. So even if you do not do something drastic. Shaking things up even a little bit can help change the trajectory of your thought, attitude and day.  Article Source:  Variety and consistency are essential to keep the mind health My related Tiktok below @wandatob...

Live your best life regardless of what other people say about you because the haters are going to hate anyway. -Wanda Toby People-pleasing will definitely have you on the path to a stress-filled life. There is no way to do it. The reality is we are living in a time in which social media allows everyone to have an opinion or a peek into our lives. Granted, you can somewhat control how much access you allow. However, there are times when that may completely be out of your control as people are quick to pull out their video cameras and record all types of situations. This of course has its pros and cons. Nevertheless, everyone has an opinion these days.  Living one’s life to please all these opinionated people will leave someone frustrated and feeling like nothing they do is right. Even within our own small circle, we cannot make everyone happy. Step back and take stock of what is really important to you; take a look at who is really important to you and how can you affect change that...

You are a master of what you say until you utter it, once you deliver it, you are its captive. Preserve your tongue as you do your gold and money. One word could bring disgrace and the termination of a bliss. - Ali Ibn Abi Talib A. S. Never is this more apparent than right now, in the age of cancel culture and political over correctness. Personally, I do not think of it as cancel culture. There are consequences to the words that one uses. I do think we live in a time when things are so politically charged that people cannot seem to differentiate between a joke and things that are actually offensive or when people are overly sensitive. It is such that those who want to get away with doing harm with their words use this to confuse people and gaslight them.  Nevertheless, we have to think before we speak, especially when dealing with loved ones. Doing this can create a landscape in which you do not create stressful situations without even realizing it. Sometimes, you can say something...

 Have you ever encountered a narcissistic person and walked away wondering what just happened when you try to share your feelings? They are experts at gaslighting you and turning the tables. When expressing yourself, to anyone really, be self-assured enough to keep the focus of the conversation pure and on what you want to discuss.  Do not let the tables get turned on you. Make sure to express your feelings and that you are heard. You may not get a resolution but at least you can walk away, knowing that you shared your thoughts and your perspective. Make sure that you are heard.  @liteviwithwanda Be aware of when you're being manipulated. ##duetthisvideo ##wellbeing ##stressless ♬ original sound - Lee Hammock

  Affirm: I release every negative thought from yesterday and resolve to be mindful of the good in this moment.  Let go. When I share these things, it is not because I have the answers or my life is super perfect or even close. I share them because these are the tools that I use not to fall into a cycle of stress and negativity. This is my stress well journey. Sometimes, I have thoughts of not being good enough or not meeting up to even my own expectations that bring my whole vibe down. I cannot allow those thoughts to linger.  I have to remind myself to let them go and be grateful for the good in my life right now, and there are many. I am fortunate. That does not mean that we are free from negative thoughts or self-doubt. This is a daily practice. There are always things from the past that we can carry forward that if we allow can hold us down. Let go. Breathe. Be. Live beyond those energy drainers.

Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be. - Wayne Dyer Stress management is doing all that you can to counter the negative effects that unchecked stress can have on your life. Stress is not avoidable. You cannot, should not, and will not ever be stress-free, at least not while you are living. Everything about managing stress is cliché. You have heard it all before. Unfortunately, we are stubborn creatures and do not listen even when it is good for us.  One of my biggest causes of stress is worrying about things that I cannot remotely affect. I also make up potential scenarios in my head that have not happened yet, that may never happen, and then stress about them. I know I am not alone. Why do we do this to ourselves? How can we stop it?  Retrain our minds. Retrain ourselves to be mindful of the now and to live in the present. Learn to distinguish between the things we can actually have an effect on and the thi...

How do we maintain normalcy in these crazy times? Stay in touch with your family the best that you can. Encourage eachother. Try and laugh where you can. Enjoy the small and subtle things. I have relied heavily on my good girlfriends and family to keep me same. Talk it out. Vent it out. Love eachother through it. Tomorrow will come and we will continue to push forward. 

I would like someone to start a dialog with me like this, " Wanda, I was researching the history of police brutality on black people in this country and I have a few questions." Instead, people want you to tell them about black on black crime and why don't black people care about that. Or they talk about statistics that they have gathered that are curated with the intent of pushing certain agendas. Or they ask for me to educate them on certain issues without doing one ounce of research. In this day and age, if you really want to have a constructive conversation and really want to learn, you will do your part. Not only will you do your part, but you will be open to listening instead of preparing for your rebuttal to dispute and discredit not only the information that I have presented but also my actual experiences.  I understand why some people do not want to engage in this fact-finding mission. It is tiresome. We are tired. We be tired. We stay tired. Do not come at us wi...

Miracles happen every day! The truth in that statement lies in perspective. The fact that I take a breath that fills my body with oxygen and allows me to live and move and interact with the ones that I love is a small continuous miracle. A child coming into this world is a miracle. Someone taking time to lend a helping hand without expecting anything in return is a miracle. The world coming together for one cause is a miracle.  Miracles happen every day! No matter what state you are in. No matter what problem you are facing. Your miracle could be waiting for you around the corner. Just keep breathing and hoping and moving forward and seeking out the everyday miracles around us.  Stress less tip: Do not stop believing in miracles and the power of one, the power of yourself, the power of people. 

Lil Wayne is the same person who is slowly killing himself with drugs and alcohol.  Lil Wayne is the same person who said he did not want to have any more children with Black women because he wants his daughters to have "good hair." Lil Wayne is the same person who was baffled, befuddled and utterly at a lost for congruent, sense-making words when asked about the Black Lives Matter Movement.  Why in God's round, green earth is anyone asking his opinion about George Floyd's murder? I am utterly baffled. This man is a national artist talking about, "What am I gonna do after that?" He said, "I'll pray for you." He basically confessed that he is not interested in doing anything for anyone. Why does anyone still stan for this man? He does not care about the culture. He used us to come up and now that he is up, he is a lap dog. He is an agent of destruction in what's supposed to be his own community. If you want to know what self-hate looks like,...

In this moment, there is plenty of time. In this moment, you are precisely as you should be. In this moment, there is infinite possibility. ― Victoria Moran Carpe Diem. There seems to be nothing more cliche than this phrase and the sentiment it is used to convey. Seize the day. Time waits for no one. Live in the moment. Even the Bible promotes living in the moment. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Mathew 6:34 When something becomes overused, I ask myself why? What made this concept so popular to the point of exhaustion? Maybe we have not exhausted it enough. It seems that people like to talk about living in the moment or quote related sayings about it but fail to execute it. I can understand the difficulty in executing something that seems more conceptual than anything. Live in the moment and do not worry about tomorrow. How can we not? It does not seem possible in the way this society is set...

All we need to make it through this thing called life is all that we have been given. It is easy to forget that when we are caught up in life's daily stressors. Too many times ee get caught up in feeling sorry for ourselves. We take for granted the things we have and the strength we have been giving to get through life's valleys. When you think about our stress response, our body is wired to automatically get us through the hard times. The stress response does not stop to ask us for your opinions or interpretation of the problem. It just kicks in and does what is necessary to protect you. Imagine that. Imagine that we are equipped to protect ourselves from harm, instinctively. Where we have to step up is in dealing with the aftermath. Every day, every moment, our bodies are reacting to changes in our lives from the smallest thing to the major catastrophe. What we cannot fail to do is recover. When our body releases stress hormones, and we activate the stress response it i...

These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them. -Rumi Gerd Altmann The body does not lie; however, we may not listen. When I worked as an emergency room nurse, I would care for people that came in with pains and aches that they have avoided for quite some time. Some of those folks would leave with a manageable diagnosis and some would have to be admitted because the disease progressed further than a quick ER visit could address. Regardless of the outcome, the story is usually the same, a pain that started out as more of an irritation or one that wasn't so bad at first grew until it was unbearable. Why do we ignore our bodies? I am equally guilty. When I was first diagnosed with lower back pain due to some bulging discs, I did not go into the see the doctor until I could not bear it any longer. I had allowed myself to get to the point when it basically hurt to move. I am pretty sure that my body had been communicating to me for a while that something was going on. Now, I...

Take a brief moment to imagine yourself getting into a minor car accident. You basically know the steps that are to be followed. Most likely the police will be called, you may need to go to the hospital to get checked out, then you will call your insurance company and go from there. This is a stressful event for anyone because it is unexpected and disrupts our life. Imagine if you did not have any clue of what to do? The stress level would be ramped up tenfold. Knowing the situation helps you navigate through it in a calmer fashion because you have some sense of control in a difficult situation. "Knowing is half the battle," famously said every time I watched an episode of the G.I. Joe cartoon. I did not realize the true depth of the quote until I became an Emergency management planner who spent weeks into months planning out events that may never happen and some that did being that I live in Florida and we get hurricanes yearly. Nevertheless, we planned and prepared b...

First thing in the mornin' when I wake up Thank God for life Look in the mirror Say, "Bitch I'm the best, best, best, best, best, best, best … Your attitude needs to rise up with the sun! “I am the best!” This is what you need to say to yourself when you wake up every morning! If you are not, change your mind frame and get with it. Play “Blessed” by Shenseea featuring Tyga and get your mind right. The best way to deal with the stressors of the day is to have to right attitude, and that starts with how you feel about yourself. That is why my morning mood is self-elevating even when I am not feeling it. If you do not feel like you are worthy and are the best, no one else is going to do it for you. We have so much coming at us throughout the day that we have to wake up with the right mindset to swerve the negativity. It is not about being cocky or conceited at all as some might think. It is about preparing yourself for the day. It is about getting yourself on the rig...

 I find that I have to get my life together on a regular basis. In any given moment, I feel like life is out of whack. It can be the slightest thing that throws me off too. I have often written about feeling as though I am going through the motions, not really connecting with my life’s purpose. Sure, I am able to hold down a nice job and maintain friendships and get my kids off to school clean and clothed which are all great but I do not find myself being fulfilled by doing the regular stuff that we should do. If anything, I find there are so many more things that I can do with my life. Who are these organized people that have clean homes, laundry folded, kids that are doing great in school, and full home-cooked meals? Who are these people that do not find themselves staring at a screen for hours on end just wasting time on foolishness? I want to know their secret because I am failing at life. By the way, I have a flair for the dramatics. I, of course, am not failing at life. So...