Friday, October 5, 2018

Do Not Give Up on Yourself: Night School Movie Review

You can read the blog or listen to the podcast if you rather. I forgot to highlight the song in the beginning. It's Love Lies by Khalid featuring Normani. Love this song. Check it out.

Night School, a production by Kevin Hart and Will Packer, starring Kevin Hart, Tiffany Haddish,  Taram Killam, Ramano Malco, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Rib Riggle and Fat Joe is going on its second weekend and theaters; and although the critics are murdering it with low ratings, I have to say it is worth the watch. It was actually funnier than I expected and the source of the comedy was mostly from the supporting cast which, in my opinion, makes for a more well rounded comedy film.

It was a combination of overtly funny jokes and satire. I actually think more people of color will get some of the underlying jokes and jabs a little more. But there was something for everyone. It is a comedy so of course some aspects where predictable. This was not billed as some thematic masterpiece. Tiffany Haddish's character was her typical loud and brash style but there were times in which she was subdued. She played it just right. I actually enjoyed the supporting players more than anything.

There were also some food for thought in how we may discount kids with learning disabilities, from parents to teachers. I could see how some people who are easily offended may find some of the comments made disturbing if they do not actually pay attention. I actually think they did a good job of highlighting a difficult topic in a funny way. At the end of the day, the moral of the story is not to give up on yourself. This, you know is my mantra, you are worthy for every effort you can muster to make your life better. Kevin's character had to overcome his doubts and low self-esteem and realize that he was important enough to make an effort.

If you want a good slap stick sort of laugh, go out and see it. Forget about the critics, take it with a grain of salt and get your laugh on. Laughter is the perfect medicine to release stress filled energy, so enjoy and forget the drama for a couple of hours.

Listen to the podcast if you rather. I forgot to highlight the song in the beginning. It's Love Lies by Khalid featuring Normani. Love this song. Check it out.

Thursday, September 27, 2018

Maria Carey Gets Rid of the Drama with GTFO

Mariah Carey tells you to GTFO with her new single. I came across this song quite accidentally and I am glad I did. I have always enjoyed most of Mimi's music releases and am happy that she is still working on her passion. Let us be honest, at over 500 million net worth, she really does not have to. However, it is good to see her still exercising her creative outlet.

In GTFO she is talking about a love gone wrong and no longer putting up with the mess. Sometimes we have to stand up for ourselves and get rid of the situation that is taking our joy or making things more stressful than they need to be. Sometimes that is a relationship gone bad, a negative person, someone who is filled with drama, or even a situation of our own creation whether at home, work, or wherever. We have to know that we are worthy for better and just GTFO of that situation. The energy that we allow in our lives should resonate life waves, not negativity. There is enough of that in the world already and we need to put out good vibes to balance our life against the landscape of harsh realities that we have to deal with.

So either tell the drama to GTFO or we ourselves take steps to GTFO. Replace the negative with a positive mindset that leads to positive actions. Raise your frequency. Radiate good vibes. It all starts with you.

Listen to the Podcast

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

How Can I Help and New Amsterdam Shade

You can listen to the Podcast version below.
A simple question can go a long way to help someone feel as though they are a part of something more. When you offer assistance, you may be giving relieving someone of angst and pressure that you know nothing about.

How can I help? Was the theme of the new NBC pilot New Amsterdam. I had to take some time to check this one out. It is another medical drama which I cannot seem to get enough that centers around a New York public hospital. The main character is Dr. Max Goodwin, played by Ryan Eggold, who I have an affinity for because he played Tom Keen in  The Blacklist. I really liked Tom Keen. 

There were a lot of really good moments in this debut but the aspect that stood out for me was the outpouring of kindness towards others that made the difference. Goodwin made changes by listening to what his staff wanted and helping. When he asked how can I help, he meant it. If we ask the question we have to be prepared to answer with action and a genuine approach otherwise do not bother asking at all.

I will definitely tune in again. However, I do have one bone to pick. I want to know which writer thought it was a good idea to have the Black doctor highlight how he did not want to date the emergency room doctor because she was white? Who thought it was a good idea to have him go on posturing about how he wants Black babies and had a vision for himself and how he wants a Black family when you already know they are going to have him swirl anyway. Listen, sisters, unfortunately, are not surprised when television promotes the swirl especially with a successful Black man and White woman. We have become unbothered especially when we are confident about who we are and loving every bit of our Blackness. But to make it a point to discuss what some Black women may feel and then trivialize all that by ultimately having the brother, seriously date the White doctor (to be seen but we all know it is coming) is a blatant slap in the face. It is a petty setup and dusting around some shade. Additionally, it further promotes the idea that Black men cannot resist the temptation of the White woman, even those that claim to want Black love. Really, New Amsterdam? On this one, the writers should have simply done what every other show does and do you and keep it moving without the added dialogue. Besides that little detractor, it was a really good first episode and I end with this, do not underestimate the power of kindness. Do not underestimate the power of offering your assistance, no matter how small.

How can I help? Of course, you can message me for more information on stress management and schedule a consultation. 

Peace and presence.

Sunday, September 23, 2018


There are 
bits and pieces  
of yourself left inside 
of me, yet the puzzle remains 
- Wanda M. Toby

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Be More Today

The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Sometimes we can just be. Be in the moment. Be present. Breathe in the breath of life while listening to our hearts. Taking that time is more than okay. Keep in mind that there are other times we have to step outside of ourselves and be more than we were yesterday.

Some days we need to reach down deep and pull out courage, strength and perseverance to push through whatever tries to hold us back. We gotta do more, move more, talk more, and give more to move ourselves to the next level or even just to get things done.

This is that day. Every day is the day when we have the opportunity to make a choice to do things differently. Today is the day for us to take a chance. Today we can push ourselves to take an extra step towards more love, goodness, joy, peace, and grace.

Knowing and accepting that life ebbs and flows, so what will be needed from also will also increase and decrease as the situation calls for can assist with preparing us to handle the ups and downs. The more prepared we are the more equipped we will be to utilize and channel stress energy.

Friday, August 24, 2018

I Love You

I am not afraid to love myself. I am worthy of all the good things that come to me. Remember to take care of yourself, love yourself and know that it is okay to take some time out for yourself. This is the selfish part. It is okay to be a little selfish, especially if you are busy caring for others whether it be family members, children, friends, your job, or any other responsibility that finds you spreading yourself thin. There is a time when you need to get to know yourself. You deserve it.

Love. Love is beyond anything we can understand. Love is explosive. Love is meant to be shared. Loving yourself is just the beginning to loving others. Share the best part of you. Share your love with those who need it. Share your talents with those who will find a piece of happiness in it. Be the love that this world needs. 

You are important to this space. You are important to the people around you. You are not alone. You are needed and loved by others. You do not live in a vacuum all by yourself. We have to learn to balance the need of "I" with the need of your presence from those around you. "You" is in relation to everyone and everything else that may be pulling on you. Give a piece back of yourself with out harming yourself.

To navigate through this life and thrive is to balance our needs and the needs that the realities of life place on us. To manage our stress and excel and harness the moments of joy and happiness, we must remember to be mindful of our surroundings, our needs, and our direction. Live. Love. Laugh. Peace. 

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Life is the Storm

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass ... It's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene
If we wait for the storm to pass, we will be doing a whole lot of waiting. Sometimes, it seems as though we are moving from storm to storm and there is hardly ever a perfect moment. If lives were perfect we would live in a utopia with nothimg to ever worry about, however the reality is that we live in an imprefect world. We are complex beings and do not always make the best choices as a people.

Life has good and bad consequences to every decision or indecision. To get through it we have to be ready for the difficult times. We have to be ready to weather them, work through them, and or actively work to get out of them. With every step and every action we also have to remeber to live, to capture and enjoy the beautiful moments and take advantage of the blessing placed in our lives in order to make it all worth it and appreciate it. We are not waiting for a storm or going through a storm. Life is the storm, so get your dance on.

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Multitasking is Not Real

When walking walk. When eating eat. – Zen Proverb

Multi-tasking is a great skill to have. We see articles and suggestions about the best way to multi-task all over. However, new research is suggesting that maybe multitasking is not such a great thing after all. In recent years articles published on NPR and various business magazines as well as health website tell a different story about multitasking on the health, brain and productivity. Multitasking is not all it is cracked up to be and it can show in your work and overall wellbeing.

I find when I am multitasking that I feel rushed. I do not feel that I am giving it my best. Imagine when you are having a conversation with someone and something on the television catches your attention. What happens to the person that was speaking? Whatever they are saying tends to fade away, doesn’t it? All of a sudden, few seconds later, you have to ask them to repeat themselves or pretend like you were paying attention to every word they spoke. That is multitasking and it is not fair is it.

I learned the detriments of multitasking as a nurse working in the ER. If there is any place that multitasking is largely used, it is definitely the ED. When working there you are listening to alarm bells, call lights, paying attention to doctors’ orders, listening for the ambulance, and taking care of anywhere from one to five patients, depending on the acuity. It can be a circus. However, when you are in a patient’s room, she is your focus 100% of the time. Nothing makes a person feel neglected like rushing them or ignoring them or even telling them that someone is coding in the other room. Whether you are with them for 5 seconds or 30 minutes, they are your priority and focus and they need to feel it.

Multitasking is not real. It is an illusion that we build around ourselves to feel more productive. We are doing it at a cost. You may have a number of tasks to complete and prioritize but in reality you are completing them one task at a time. The more we focus on devoting our time to that one thing in order to get it done right, the more we will actually feeling accomplished and satisfied.

I definitely would rather sit down and taking my time to enjoy my meal instead of rushing it because I am on the go. Heck, I may trip and fall and be left with an even bigger mess. Let us get focused.

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Friends Can Help Alleviate Stress

Stress is a sneaky little bugger. It can start off as a great motivator but left unchecked and unmanaged it can lead to chronic stress that we may not even be aware of. We end up reacting to the consequence such as increased health problems, shorter tolerance and even trouble with relationships.
It is important that we manage stress and are aware of it's affect at all levels. When we have an awareness we can then work on improving situations in our life that will help to relieve stress. Good friends are just one of the things that can help combat the negative impact of stress on one's life. Web MD and other research sources site multiple benefits to a good friendships. Friends can be great motivators for healthy behavior. Positive and happy friends are infectious. Fellowship with friends help fight off depression. Keep in mind thought this is not about toxic people. Toxic "friends" can drain you and add even more stress.

Be mindful of the people in your circle. Be thankful and appreciative of the good friends that you have. Spend quality time with them, laugh with them, and do not forget to activate them when needed. We do not have to face difficulties alone. Family and friends want to share in your healing. Allow them.

Monday, June 18, 2018

Five Things I Learned from my Social Media Break

Most recently, I found that I was spending a little too much time on social media as if they were life links. Although they may seem like the keys to life they should not be the most significant aspects on my tree of life.

I took a few weeks off from my most used social media platforms, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Not a fake break, when we say we are taking a break but sneak back on a little less and never really did leave. I took a real break, deleting the apps off my phone and logging out from the internet for a solid two weeks. I was off for a third but I cheated a bit by logging back on line. I ultimately am planning my full return because I was no more productive in life than I was prior to taking this break. I have downloaded Twitter back on my phone. I will later do Instagram and I am not really rushing to get the Facebook app back although I have logged on over the internet.

While off, I found it so easy to engage in other ways to fill up the now free social media time that I had. Mostly, I binged watched television shows that I had fell behind on or had some interest in. So here are the 5 things that I learned from leaving and coming back:

  • Productivity comes from within. As mentioned, I was no more productive in life within my two week hiatus. Just because I had lost access to my self-made distractions, did not mean that I would not find another way to excel at procrastination and lack of motivation. At the end of the day, we are still the masters of our fate and control our actions and choice of engagement. We have to internally make the decision to be better, do more, get off our butts and move. 
  • I missed it but I didn't really miss it. I missed the people that made me laugh and smile and think. After a while, I was on cruise control. It was okay.
  • It is easier for me to bury my head in the sand. I get most of my news a current affairs from social media because I do not watch news. I did not mind missing out. I did not mind being away from all the negative crap. The state of affairs saddens me. However, it should drive us to be the catalyst for change. 
  • It is a lot of work. Being back for only a couple of days, I realize that it is actually a lot of work. Reading through the post, commenting, wishing people happy birthday, and responding to people is not only time consuming but takes energy. Do I really have time for all this? How did I manage to get as involved as I was before? Clearly, I have an issue with self control.
  • Lastly, it is about balance. Life is about balance. How we handle social media should be no different. Not only should I balance how much I am on there but what content I have access to as well. I am going to work on being more of a voyeurer and comment every now and then. I am going to balance my content with things that make me happy and the news (because right not hardly anything is positive in the news) and I am going to balance my time.
Bonus. It takes away from self care. Many people have a high level of stress in their lives that sometimes being on social media can make worse depending on what we expose ourselves to. The most important thing about my social media break was that I was able to have more time for myself, to myself. Time to do the things that I not only enjoy but elevate my mood, release stress and help me relax: quiet time, relaxing time, music time, reading time and me time. Even if we are not more productive, taking time for ourselves is more important. We can gain perspective and clarity and all else refresh.