The Revival of Self: Healing Beyond Loss and Rediscovering You Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform ! I write cinquain poems. Granted, I have not written any in a while, but they are one of my favorite styles of poetry to dabble in. A cinquain is a five-line poem with specific syllable requirements for each line, similar to a haiku. Every now and then, one will pop up on my blog with increased views. Most recently, one that I wrote, titled Missing has increased views.  I don’t remember the exact circumstance at that particular time that caused me to write it, but I know what it stemmed from. It was a quick note to my late husband, whom I had traumatically lost nine years prior. Nine years later and I was still writing notes to him? Heck, 13 years later, and I still write journal entries to or about him. Being a widow is funny like that.  The words of it struck and stuck with me, though. Loss is one of the most difficult and stressful situations that we can ...

Reboot Mode: Your No-Stress Guide to Getting Fit Again Journal Prompt: When have you been your worst enemy? What were the circumstances and outcome? Did you learn anything from it? Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform ! Entertainment Updates Cardi B - including older songs (W.A.P and Up) to boost album sales for “Am I the drama” Damson Idris on press tour for F1 (Brad Pitt movie) and talks of Black Panther Brandy and Monica are going on The Boy Is Mine tour Prosecutors in the Diddy Case rest. Jury deliberation to begin Mahershala Ali still wants Blade (2019), and so do we. He is in Jurassic World: Rebirth Tiffany Haddish: multiple baby daddy comments Box Office: How to Train Your Dragon, 28 Years Later We can be so toxic to ourselves. I am trying to be my best friend and treat myself with grace and kindness. That treatment includes how I take care of my body. I would say some of us could improve on how we care for ourselves. Sometimes we need to be better parents to ...

I needed a moment so I wrote a couple of poems and recorded a podcast show because I just needed a moment to be.  Adjust Breathe in know that it is your time to feel what you need to feel, your time to have a moment Wanda Toby @Litevi I Need a Moment Ya’ll gonna give me a moment  A moment to feel what I feel  To sit in this pocket of disappointment  To let the letdown flow over me and settle  in the unsettled pits of my stomach To bubble and gurgle and seethe  Just need a moment to adjust or  readjust to the dimming of hope that was ignited  a glow that dared to burn too bright in a time when darkness rallied Ya’ll gonna give me a moment  A moment to feel what I feel To get it together and figure it out Am I going to fight or watch it burn A moment to acknowledge my exhaustion To cry at the loss of humanity at the choking hands of hubris Just need these few minutes before I gotta go to work - Wanda Toby Article A Psychologist’s Advice on How ...

Reveal Your Thoughts: Part 2 What are you feeling today? Reveal your thoughts to a trusted confident!  Mighty you are  Allow  yourself to be  seen not as you wish but  as you honestly are  not wounded yet vulnerable  mighty  In your  sincerity  a burgeoning healing  takes root and grows like a mighty  oak tree - Wanda Toby In my research on stress management and wellness, I have found that the basics of the basics is knowing oneself. Knowing who you are, knowing what your values are, and knowing how you react to things allows a person to better prepare for life’s ups and downs. However, sometimes that is not enough. Sometimes you have to take it further and share certain parts of yourself. Share your feelings and emotions whether it be venting or expressing love or connecting on a mutual experience. Since we are social creatures we need to connect in ways that deepen our experiences. At the end of the day keeping things bo...

Cast your Net Wider: Embrace New Opportunities for Growth What are you feeling today?  Listen to the podcast Sometimes we may be limiting ourselves whether it be physically or mentally. Sometimes we need to let those things go that keep us bound.  Break free from those barriers and cast your net wider but what does that really mean? Reach out more than you thought you could. Open yourself more than is comfortable. Open your mind to new possibilities. When I think of casting your net wider, I think of expanding oneself. This is different from extending yourself or spreading yourself too thin. Please do not do that. We spread ourselves enough. This means being more open to the varieties that life has to offer.   Do not limit yourself. This requires self-awareness and imagination. It is not easy but you can start by thinking about who you currently are, where you currently are and what can you do to broaden your mind.  Successful People The 8 Self-limiting Behavior...

Journal Prompt: Reflect on Your Moments of Self-Care Reflect on moments when you have cared for your mental, emotional, or physical well-being. How did you prioritize yourself, and what self-care activities brought you joy and contentment? More Than That Self-care is not simply pampering yourself  Getting facials, a spa day Good skin-care routine  Self-care is more than that  It is not about being a selfish person  It is more than that Self-care doesn’t have to be pricey or a whole production It has more meaning than that Self-care is remembering  You are a person  You are a human being  Attention and maintenance  Pruning and watering These are not optional Self-care is remembering you  Remembering that you need attention too Self-care is more than that holistically taking care of you Mind, body, soul Mentally, physically, spiritually  Self-care is all the things  Self-care is safety Self-care is your safe space - Wanda Toby

Risk Love me enough toss your insecurities aside  and risk.  Love me enough  stop fighting against yourself  toss your doubts, fears, and pains aside  and risk Love me enough  be uncomfortable  be inconvenienced  Risk your complacency with me Love me enough put it all on the line -WMT

Drip to Hard Feeling spectacular holding myself up as waves crash against me knowing I'll withstand by WMT I have a love/hate relationship with some of the current hip/hop industry and the new rap songs that are being produced today, well with most of them actually. The reality is that most of them promote messages that are actually detrimental to our community. On the one hand, they push violence, drug abuse, misogyny, and materialism; however, on the other, we have to question whether it is art imitating life. When rap first started to make waves the argument was that rappers were talking about their experiences and their struggles. During the rise of rap, we also had a variety to choose from. We had the fun stuff to listen to, conscience rap, gangsta rap, west coast, east coast and etc. Granted now there are a host of new styles of rap being produced but we have to search for them. The music that is being promoted and pushed out in front of us are the ones...

Music inspires me. Research has shown that music can affect mood, anxiety, stress and overall wellbeing.  I have a "Feel Good" playlist of songs that I know put me in a good mood and I play it whenever I need a little pick me up. Solange's single Stay Flo is one of the songs that puts me in a relaxed, vibing groove. It inspired me to write my latest cinquain about letting life flow. If we do not learn how to move through the ups and downs of life, we will be bogged down with disappointments instead of working towards moving through time. We cannot get stuck or stay still because we will find that time has moved on without us and we could have made moves. Stay Flo Problems  come and go, good times don't seem to last yet joy's in my spirit, going with  the flow by WMT Check out the Stay Flo Lyrics

Melanin Touch me like the sun kissed my skin, caressing me in the love, creation knew I needed -WMT Photo by Oladimeji Odunsi Feeling this song so much I had to post it twice :). 

Scattered fragments of my overwrought emotions escape my control until I take time Overthinking things seems to be my specialty. Overthinking inevitably leads to worry and worry leads to anxiety and anxiety leads to stress. In other words, I am a stress magnet, inviting unnecessary stress into my life on a regular basis. If I did not actively combat my thoughts of worry, I would certainly be a walking trainwreck. I know I am not the only one. Chronic stress is a plague on not only the US but globally as well. How can we have an impact on the amount of chronic stress that we have to deal with? We start by better handling acute stress. Acute stress is the day to day stress. Acute stress is life. The goal is not to do away with stress altogether. That is not at all realistic because any change that we have to adjust to causes a potential for stress. Therefore, we have to work on how we use the energy from that acute stress. In order to first use that nervous, stressful ene...

photo by Dawid Zawila Embrace  the gentle kiss  of the wind, reminding  us that in stark stillness remains  life’s breath We can easily invite unnecessary stress into our lives by worrying and overthinking certain details. There are times that a person can be dealing with a stressful situation and she allows it to consume her entire being. It is so easy to unwittingly find ourselves caught in the cycle of stress. It is in those moments that we need to step back and appreciate the smaller things. It is in those moments that I encourage you to stop and breathe.  It’s not just about the breath. I want you to take that moment and think of the smallest things that we take for granted like your feet for example. Most importantly, I want you to remember in that moment that you are alive and can feel and can take action. Think of nothing else but your potential. Just breathe and be thankful or just be.  At some point, you should write down...

Wake Up! Reality bites, soothes and reverses trapped only to be free in the moment photo by Artem Sapegin Hush Kids has this song, Wake Up, that I feel expresses the state we may find ourselves in sometimes without even being aware. "What have I missed sleepwalking like this. Seems like a high price to pay. All the lights in the screens are they just a disease. Always on, calling my name. I wanna wake up." -Hush Kids, Wake Up There are times when we are moving through life without really being aware of the things around us. Work and responsibilities and the computer and television or our phones have consumed us to the point that we are not really living but floating through one moment to the next. I do not blame technology at all. I blame myself. I blame my lack of self-awareness and mindful living. Am I awake? When do I really unplug and enjoy the moment? Carpe diem seems so cliche and because of this we throw it away and take it for granted. Still, I have to ...

Panacea All that's right in the world starts with a simple unfiltered genuine act of kindness I am not sure what the world would be like without people who are capable of kindness, and I do not really want to imagine it. I am thankful for those with big hearts who are better than myself. Practice acts of kindness regularly and watch your life transform.

Pathways How many ways can we talk about love How many paths can one take Waterfalls, rainbows, the air that we breathe Colors, moans, and the laughter we need How many ways can we talk about love How many paths can we take

Missing There are  bits and pieces   of yourself left inside  of me, yet the puzzle remains  broken - Wanda M. Toby

Reaching  to touch you when  you are not there causes  this yearning pain and yet I reach  out still  - Wanda M. Toby

Enigma It is okay to be yourself even if that is not what others expect. It is okay to be yourself even if it is not what you expect. Life is worth our breath, our experience, our being. So, it is okay to just be. Enigma I am simple but not at all basic, complex but not at all complicated I'm  me -Wanda M. Toby

Today Today  this is the day  I will breathe and let go  speak unspoken truths to the one  I love - Wanda M. Toby