I am ashamed to say that I do not put God first. I know there are moments in my life when I have (maybe weeks at a time, if that), but those moments are fleeting. Right now, I am genuinely saddened and disappointed with myself. The bible says
31Therefore do not worry and be anxious, saying, What are we going to have to eat? or, What are we going to have to drink? or, What are we going to have to wear? 32For the Gentiles (heathen) wish for and crave and diligently seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows well that you need them all. 33But seek ([a]aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness ([b]His way of doing and being right), and then all these things [c]taken together will be given you besides. 34So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble. -Matthew 6:31-34 (Amplified Bible)
Is that not clear enough? So, what do I do (and most of you out there; don't act like I'm alone)? I do just the opposite. When I sit back and think about what has taken me away from God, it is exactly those worries mentioned above. I think about making things better for myself, my family, my children, etc. I focus on ways to improve my situation instead of improving God's position in this world. No matter what we do or say, our main purpose in life is to glorify God and see that his righteousness is spread throughout the world however we can because in the end he will provide for us and take care of us. Now that may mean through our gifts and talents or through the way we live our lives and the examples we set for those that are watching.
As is apparent from my frequency on this blog, God has moved down on my list of priorities. I have squeezed Him out of the lowly 30 minutes he had in my daily life to begin with. What are my excuses for this? Hmmm, I started school again. I have kids to take care of and a home to keep. Blah blah blah ... the list can go on and on. I am sure it is similar to yours. Why is it so easy to place God on the back burner of our lives, simmering until we need Him?
Is it really possible to keep Him first? I have to believe that it is. I have to remember that it is not a daily choice but a choice that must be made minute by minute and second by second. We have to be willing to make that choice constantly. I already know that I am no better than everyone else in the world, but I DO believe in Jesus. I love the Creator of this world. I know that He will never turn away from me no matter how many times I turn away from Him.
So tonight, I pick myself up, dust myself off, put on my armor, and get back on the ball. If I have to recommit myself every minute of everyday then that is what I must do.