We Deserve More than Roses: Roses by Gashi

Roses by Gashi (who sounds like Post Malone or Post Malone sounds like him IDK 😄) is this hot track that I recently added to my 2019 playlist. I have a thing for smooth laid back beats and melodies. At first, it really sounds like a sexy joint. The lyrics though had me thinking about how people find themselves in a repeating cycle of hurt and pain in the name of love.

I think the title is on point because it correlates with the roses (honeymoon) phase in the cycle of abuse. Are we not allowing ourselves to be abused emotionally when we continually allow someone to hurt us and when they come back with apologies, roses, and gifts we forgive them and let them back in only to do it all over again?

The theory behind the idea of falling into a cycle of abuse is that there are three or four periods. Boy meets girl and it's great, lovely and all is right in the world. Then at some point, an incident happens.
Sometimes it starts smalls. It may be something that chips away are your self-esteem or it can be huge. Maybe you were slapped. Maybe you were belittled. Afterwards comes the apologies in which promises to change are made, or excuses about why it happened. Maybe you get gifts, roses, or candy. Then it falls back to a good place again or a calm place and things are lovely once more (maybe). Slowly tension starts to build again until another incident happens. In most cases the incident escalates. In violent cases the violence escalates. The pain and hurt escalates. Rinse and repeat.

Photo by Sydney Sims

In any instance, I commend those that are able to pull themselves out of this situation. We deserve more than a cycle of hurt, pain and devaluing our existence as a person. It takes courage and strength and self-awareness to break the cycle. For those that are in a violent situation, it takes outside support and planning and being strategic especially if it is to the point in which your life may be in danger.

We can get our own roses. I cannot stress enough how we deserve the best that we can give ourselves. No matter what has happened to us in our past, we do not deserve mistreatment. No matter how smooth talking he/she may be. No matter how good the good times may feel. No matter how much we think we can make him/her happy, we matter more and if he/she does not realize that then we have to get away. The best thing we can do for ourselves and our peace of mind and our health is to remove ourselves from a situation that causes constant unnecessary stress in our lives.


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