Millennium Chain Letters

There are quite a few things I hate in this world. I am a realist, and that is being generous, and because of that, on any given day, there exist a large number of things that just get on my last good nerve, things that just do not make any type of sense whatsoever. Things like “Chicken Noodle Soup” with a soda on the side or Janet Jackson getting dissed by MTV or performers dancing so much that they don’t even sing anymore or street lit getting published just because it’s street lit just, all annoy me to no end.

However, all of the aforementioned pale in comparison to one of my pet peeves, chain letters. My first initiation into this rite of passage was many years ago at the tender age of 13, when I was susceptible to just about anything. I was just happy that I was getting mail. I’m talking about a real letter with a stamp on it. I was so excited that I ripped the envelope open and pulled out the letter. Then I read something about being fortunate to have great luck but the only way I can sustain this good streak was to make copies of the letter and forward it to ten friends, more for more luck. If I did this with haste, all my dreams would come true; however, if I did not comply with the shrewd demand them my life would be hurled into an abyss of disaster.

In the 21st century, the chain letters are now more mature and sophisticated. Now I get them via e-mail. Oh great! They come in disguises too. I think I am reading a sweet survival story about a sick child when WHAM- at the end, it’s there, the chain letter pitch, “If you want to have love like this miraculously healed child, forward this on too 200 of your closest friend.” Oh really?

The other day something happened that had my blood coursing through my body so fast that I felt like my skin was crawling off my flesh. I was standing in a Chinese food place, waiting on my order and my phone beeped. Goody. I had a text message. Cue the Psycho sound effect- it was a chain text! Oh the horror.


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