Friday, July 3, 2015

That Exact Moment: Adjusting to a new life


That Exact Moment 
It is that moment when the new normal begins as well as the adjusting. Adjusting to a new life, a new set of responsibilities and expectations that seem out of place at best.

It is that moment when your life seperates into two- before the event and after the event. In my case, before him versus after him. The moment when a fact of your life becomes a point of pity. The moment when happy times or joyous occasions, no matter how far removed, are slightly tainted with what ifs, regrets, and wishes for changes that we cannot actually control. 

It is that moment that forever remains with us like a dull ache. The moment that causes us to think about not being a Deddie Downer because surely we should be over it by now. When we are forever grateful that people cannot read our minds because even we are not aware when the grief monster will rear its necessary head. That moment when we become better actors than we thought was possible. 

It's in that moment that I started an unwelcomed journey of truely understanding what it means when God said it is not good for man to be alone for the contrast of having a partner in life, a soul mate, a friend regardless of good or bad circumstances with losing the vessel by which unconditional love was manifested in my life is painfully sharp and the clarity of it never more apparent 6 years later when my life is going so well. 

It is that moment when the new normal begins as well as the adjusting. Adjusting to a new life, a new set of responsibilities and expectations that seem out of place at best ... and yes, I am still adjusting.
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