Friday, March 27, 2009

Spiritually Speaking: Fatigue is okay every now and then

I have been feeling blah, just blah. I have been going through the motions of my day like any other but the blah was still with me. I am guessing that I was blah because I am tired. Every once in a while I get tired. I get tired of school, of work, of bills, of feeling constricted.

My day to day is an ongoing journey towards fulfilling my purpose on this earth. Everyday, I try to remember that God is in it all. I have wants and desires like everyone else but I pull God in and check myself, so that I can stay focused on what He wants out of me. However, I am tired and a little disheartened that I am not further along in my journey.

I acknowledge that some of the slow trudging is due to decisions I have made or actions taken that may not always serve God’s glory. I take it upon myself to acknowledge my shortcomings daily. But things are different now. Instead of running away from what God has for me, I am accepting his guiding hand. In trying to figure out which way He is pointing, in trying to stay focus on His purpose, in trying to be better, I admit that I get weary.

There is something though that, at the end of it all, rejuvenates me. It is not my children (as awesome as they maybe) or my good health (as thankful as I am for it) or my loving family (such a blessing they are) that strengthens me. It is that moment when I pause, and wait, and close my eyes, and let the quiet sneak in, and know that He is. He is all the love that is in me, all that there ever was and ever will be, and I am renewed with the little bit of him that has taken up residence within this body.

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength –Isaiah 40:30-31
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