Saturday, July 12, 2008

Single & Satisfied Part Three

Now that we know that all singles have a common duty but don’t have all things in common, and that accepting yourself leads to single satisfaction let’s conclude the ways I have found to make my success in being single and satisfied.

Treat yourself.

Look there is no reason for any single person to be cooped up in the house all the time. Get out! Enjoy yourself. How else will you be able to meet people and fellowship? A friend of mine used to joke that the only way she was probably going to get married was if the pizza man asked her, because for so long that was the only person that she saw outside of work. Now that seems funny to some but think about it. How often do you just go out and enjoy being you. Enjoy who you are and revel in what God has done for you.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son … John 3:16.

Take yourself on a date. Get a pedicure, manicure, a haircut or stitch some weave in. Whatever makes you feel good, do it! Don’t wait for anyone to validate who you are. Validate yourself. I am an avid reader, so for me a great night is going to Books-A-Million grabbing a mug of Mango-Peach hot tea and chilling. I love spending time with me… I always have. I reconnected with a wonderful old friend and he asked me one evening what was I up to and my reply was reading. He asked, “You still curling up with your books, huh?” Yep. I’m still curling up with my books only now I have added the greatest book of all to my reading list- the Bible.

No matter what it is that you might enjoy. Take some time and treat yourself to it. It will make you happy and your happiness will spread to others.

Be Honest With Yourself (Know, That You Know, That You Know)

The main problem with singles is that we are in denial. Pure unadulterated denial! We think that everything we do is because of who we are. We are vain, self-centered, egotistical, etc. We trick ourselves into believing that we know what is best for us and that we are in control of any situation that arises. I know this first hand because I had all the symptoms.

I was involved in a lot of philanthropic endeavors, political and social organizations and I was an overachiever at my job. I prided myself at learning everything I needed to and strove to be the best at them all. Friends would regale at how smart I was, and how I could do this and that. One friend even told someone that I am probably a genius. All the time I was sucking it in and my head was getting enormous. I knew I was the bomb and no one could defuse me. Or so I thought.


See while I was running around here trying to be the best and seeking praise, I never once thought to praise the Heavenly Father for allowing me to succeed the way I had. Well why should I? It was me that was doing everything. That is the trap that the enemy had set for me and I am sorry to say that I fell for it. So God being God had to show me that without him I am nothing. And boy did he show me. If I had been honest with myself I would have figured it out before it was too late, before I became miserable, and before I began to hate all these things and became very unhappy. See, I forgot to give God his glory. So he took mine.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. ~1st Corinthians 10:31

We all can probably relate to this in some area of our lives. It may be Mr. Feel Good. This is the lie many singles tell themselves. I know I can handle seeing this man or woman without crossing the line. The reality is if you have Christ and he is really working in your life then you might be able to handle certain types of relationships. If you don’t well … let me try to make it clearer.

For example, you get home from work, take a shower and eat.

Your phone rings at 9:30 p.m. and Mr. Feel Good says, “Hey, I’m coming over.”

You say, “Ok.” You say the practiced, “You know I’m saved so we won’t be doing anything.”

He says the rehearsed, “No, I just want to spend some time with you.”

You giggle and say, “Come on over.”

It’s harmless thus far. But what do you do next? You take another shower and put on your Victoria Secrets just in case. Just in case what? You are saved remember? You have just allowed your thoughts to dictate your preparation for sin. The reality is you know you are weak when it comes to Mr. Feel Good, so you should have told him to stay home. But in our need to conquer the fear of being alone we allow ourselves to participate in actions that lead to no good.

See you have to know, that you know, that you know. You know that you know the word of God and you know that being with Mr. Feel Good is against all he has done for you. You must turn from situations that will put you in a possible position where you will be tempted to engage in immorality. You must be able to make decisions that lead to your having a clear conscious.

Pray for us. We are sure that we have a clear conscience and desire to live honorably in ever way. ~Hebrews 13:18

Most importantly you need to Pray.

Pray continually ~I Thessalonians 5:17

Look single, I know it is hard in the society that we live in to live a life that is pleasing to Christ. However if you remember that all singles have a common duty, but don’t have all things in common, you accept yourself for who you are in Christ, treat yourself and be honest with yourself, there is no way that you can go wrong. You’ll be on your way to being a single and satisfied and will never want to turn back. Hey it’s worked for me.
Be blessed and I’m praying for you.

Single & Satisfied Part One
Single & Satisfied Part Two
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About the Author
Stephanie Seawright is a very good friend of mine, and I thank her for this submission. She is a very happily single, professional woman striving daily to live as God would have her. She and I constantly laugh about the ups and downs we go through in trying to get it right.

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